Father of the Bride Speech Writing Tips
"If you can't hear me at the back, the silence from the people at the front should reassure you that you're not missing out on anything."
Could there be anything more terrifying? For many people speaking in public is the ultimate fear while others consider being in the spotlight their rightful place and crave any audience. However most guys fear having to write a speech.
The Father of the Bride’s speech is usually given 1st before the Best Man and the Groom give theirs. The good news though is that you are merely the warm up man as the real pressure is on the Best Man to deliver the real comedy material. For the most part the Father of the Bride’s speech is viewed as something to endure rather than enjoy so with a little bit of effort and following a few basic points you can make your speech something to both surprise and delight all present.
Timing
At many weddings the father of the bride’s has been known to drag out a bit, well it’s only fair, he is the one that laid out all the cash so that a load of relatives he doesn’t like and strangers he’s never met and will probably never meet again can have a free meal and party at his expense. The perfect length of a wedding speech is about 7 minutes.
A useful tip is to practice your speech in front of close friends or family. This allows you to get feedback from people and you can judge your pace.
Jokes
This is a tricky one, as the Father of the Bride you are the elder statesman of those speaking, it means your speech will probably be a bit more conservative than the Best Man’s however that dosen’t mean it has to be completely dull. Equally though as the wise old head its better that you steer clear from potentially offensive or misplaced gags. If you are undecided about whether something is too close to the knuckle then its best to err on the side of caution.
Also as much as you will want to include your new son-in-law in your speech there is no need to look for too many gags to throw his way, a little light hearted comment here and there is a good thing but it’s the Best Man’s job to give him a proper comedy roast.
Is There Anything I Have To Include?
Introduce yourself at the top of your speech. Although as Father of the Bride you are the welcoming host not everyone will have met you or will know your name. It is traditional for the Father of the Bride to welcome everyone to the wedding and thank them for coming, in particular the Groom’s family.
There are two important toasts to give, the first of which is to absent friends or relatives. There are two families present and there’s a chance not all the relatives will have been able to attend or there might be some important or well loved family members who might sadly have passed away recently who the Bride or Groom will wish to be remembered. It’s a good idea to check with the happy couple and the Groom’s parents when preparing your speech.
The second is to toast the happy couple at the end of your speech.
Don’t Forget The Groom…. Or your wife!
There will be plenty you wish to say about and to your daughter but remember to include your new son-in-law in your speech and don’t be afraid to throw an occasional gag his way.
Tried to avoid the obvious cliché “I haven’t lost a daughter I’ve gained a son.” its just dull.
But most of all don’t forget to mention the bride’s mother (good tip, compliment her on how beautiful she is looking today) and what a great mother she has been. It’s a big day for her too.
Don’t Gush
It is such a massive day for both yourself and your daughter, you have probably been planning this speech in your head from the day she was born but remember you have a room full of people present who don’t want to see you breaking down in tears. Be honest to yourself, say what you feel you want to say but if there are some things that are too personal or perhaps are not the kind of things you feel comfortable saying in public then write a separate letter to your daughter which she can read on the day.
The Basic Phases
The perfect Father of The Bride speech can be broken down into the following phases;
- Opening - Start with a gag to get an early laugh and relax yourself and your audience
- Introduction - Introduce yourself and mention the Bride’s mother. It’s a big day for her too.
- The formal bit - Welcome everyone to the wedding, especially the Groom’s parents and family. Offer a toast to “absent friends”.
- Daddy’s Girl - This is your chance to perhaps get a little revenge on your daughter and tell a couple of funny stories from her youth. It’s also your chance to tell her how proud you are of her and all that she means to you.
- Here comes the Groom - Mention the Groom and formally welcome him into your family. This is also a good chance to make a joke about him or perhaps mention the first time you met him and what you really thought at the time or how he and your daughter first met.
- Words of wisdom - Offer some words of advice or insights into marriage, this is a good place to deliver some jokes or quotes.
- Toast - Finish your speech by asking everyone to stand and raise their glasses to the newlyweds. This might be done by the Best Man at the end of his speech as well but it’s the traditional way to bring your speech to a close.
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